Why Wizards Adventure

Why do they do it? Have you ever thought about why wizards follow the brash warrior and foolhardy thief into the dungeon?

When a peasant's mind is full of questions, that is, he has no more nor less than three, he visits a learned man of science. Every town has at least one "scientist" whose qualifications include the ability to read and write, but can also include knowledge of leeches.

Once the peasant unburdens himself to the learned man, they both walk over to the nearest wizard's tower. The scientist and wizard confer with each other in order to produce the wisest of answers for the peasant.

If a question has no answer, then it's up to the wizard alone. Because, as we all know, facts begin as dreams, dreamt by a wizard...

If the wizard crosses the path of a scorned widow, then he shared it at the town council. Now, it is a hypothesis, and it's time to drown the wizard. If he floats, then he is an evil wizard and must be burned alive. But if he drowns, then the hypothesis is true!

The King is told and he consults with his menagerie of birds. If the King is satisfied, then it becomes an old wive's tale and science is once more advanced. Life is improved again and mothers will lose only half their children, instead of most.

The dead wizard is paid handsomely for the science he has selflessly given. The peasant who originally asked the question without immediate answer has his foot lopped off by the King's executioner, and that foot is placed in the grave alongside the wizard's body.

Now you know why wizards don't stay put, they go off on wild adventures with half-insane comrades who keep leading them into the jaws of possible death. Because it's safer than helping the peasantry know what is true.


This was totally ripped off from "The Limits of Science" sketch by Mr. Show. Thanks Bob and David!

Watch it on youtube here.


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