What She's Wearing Underneath

I don't have time to be writing this, but damn it... this is getting written.

Hopefully, the random tables you're about to read are congruous with the lofty, high-brow fare you've come to expect from both Draconic Magazine and Venger As'Nas Satanis.

The initial inspiration for these tables came from one of my favorite Will Ferrell comedies - Old School. Remember when Will Ferrell's character and his wife were in couple's therapy and he wondered aloud what the Olive Garden waitress' underwear might have been?

By the way, this is for Alpha Blue. Keep it highly inappropriate, y'all. See you in the trust tree!

What Kind of Underpants Is She Wearing?

1. Ordinary white cotton panties
2. Thong
3. Boy shorts
4. French cut panties
5. G-string
6. Open-crotch panties
7. Garter (with fishnet stockings) panties
8. Nothing (she's going commando)
9. Outre alien panties
10. Granny panties
11. Vibrating panties
12. Ordinary cotton panties, but color other than white

The Condition of Her Underwear

1. Visibly soiled
2. They smell dirty
3. Clean as a whistle
4. Evidence of a healthy sex life

Vaginal Area

1. Full bush (1970's)
2. Lightly trimmed (1980's)
3. Landing strip (1990's)
4. Totally shaved (2000's)
5. Inverted landing strip (2020's and 30's)
6. Weird alien pattern (2040's to the present day)


Hope you enjoyed this momentary diversion. If you use it in your game, let me know. Thanks for reading, commenting, and sharing!

More than likely, these tables will appear (though, perhaps edited for awesomeness) in an upcoming Alpha Blue scenario titled I Wear My Heart On My Sleaze.

You're my boy, Blue. You're my boy...


Authored by Venger Satanis


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