Scent of a Woman

When you're playing a sleazy, low-brow RPG like Alpha Blue... sometimes, you just want to know what your character's experiencing down there.

This tasteless (see what I did there?) random table helps determine what a particular entity's erogenous zone is like. This could refer to smell, taste, texture, consistency, general appearance, sound, functionality, or any manner of junk perceptions.

Most likely, this table will be used to describe female alien anatomy and sexual expression, but really it's open to everyone. Maybe human women have been prescribed designer hormone therapy? Or there's some mutant strain, strange form of radiation, or DNA anomaly that changes the flavor of a dude's spunk? In the year 2369, they say even "pure strain humans" are only about 93% human, anyway.

Roll on this d100 table 1d4 times per individual. The (probably) odd flavor profile combinations should enhance the experience for everyone involved, as well as, provide a good laugh for those listening.

Also, this random table was an Alpha Blue community project initiated by MoonSylver.

The Essence of Stank

1. Fish and chips
2. Cinnamon and spice
3. Warm apple pie
4. Big Mac secret sauce
5. Battery acid
6. Whipped cream
7. Chicken
8. Surströmming (fermented Baltic herring)
9. Dark chocolate
10. Blueberry yogurt
11. Cottage Cheese (4% milk fat)
12. Honey
13. Ass juice (this species' orifices are reversed, fool!)
14. Gym socks
15. Cold chicken grease
16. Onions and shallots (get ready to cry)
17. Pancakes
18. Beer
19. Lemon juice
20. Fresh cut grass (hope you don't have allergies)
21. White wine
22. Grape jelly
23. Pop rocks
24. Warm sunshine and fresh laundry
25. The ghost chili (AY CHIHUAHUA!)
26. Plastic
27. Cheese-wiz
28. Peanut butter
29. Cheetos
30. Frosted flakes
31. Deviled eggs
32. Purple Prizm (is that where they got the flavor?)
33. Golden delicious apples
34. Orange juice (extra pulp)
35. Piña colada
36. Alfredo sauce
37. Marshmallows
38. Sulfur and brimstone (smells like Hell)
39. Bacon
40. Strawberries and whipped cream
41. Grilled cheese sandwich
42. Nature, after it rains
43. Pickles
44. Pudding (vanilla 1-3, chocolate 4-6)
45. Ranch dressing
46. Pizza!
47. Lime jello
48. Cream cheese
49. Glazed ham
50. Soy sauce
51. Butterscotch
52. Kiwi
53. Nothing
54. Truly indescribable
55. Licorice
56. Banana split
57. Cotton Candy
58. Mashed potatoes and gravy
59. Cheeseburger
60. Peaches
61. Mustard (1-3 yellow, 4-6 brown)
62. Sriracha
63. Raspberry sauce
64. Balsamic vinegar
65. Urine (maybe she peed in your mouth...)
66. Spinach (I think you've got something in your teeth)
67. Grapefruit
68. Maraschino cherries
69. White clam sauce
70. Sushi with wasabi
71. Ketchup
72. Pears
73. French dressing
74. Mint
75. Maple syrup
76. Caesar salad dressing
77. Bourbon
78. Oregano
79. Cocktail sauce
80. Cheddar cheese
81. Nachos
82. Regret
83. Sour cream (1-3), guacomole (4-6)
84. Like a vagina (duh!)
85. Shrimp creole
86. Sausage
87. Miracle whip
88. Clam chowder
89. Axe body-wash
90. Like licking a mirror
91. Caviar on crackers (when you finish, you just know there's going to be crumbs in the bed)
92. Greasy pork sandwich served in a dirty ashtray
93. Fish oil
94. Lube
95. Tentacle
96. Spam
97. Pumpkin spice
98. Dragon fruit
99. Watermelon
100. Hummus


Thanks for reading, commenting, and sharing!

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Authored by Venger Satanis


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