Kodarr's Kommandments

So, rumor is there's a new sheriff in town. A Dungeon Master's Guide by the name of Fifth Edition. Oh, you've heard of him? Can't say I'm surprised. Bow down before your almighty brand name, pig-dog! Let's get down and dirty...

Well, if you're a total noob to D&D, it's probably just as useful to you as a seasoned veteran behind the screen. Which is to say, not at all! But for a few novice DMs with a little bit of experience, I suppose it's worth reading.

Reviewers talk about pretty pictures, random tables, and practical advice on how to run a decent adventure. That's all well and good but what about that inner spark that makes you want to swing a greataxe or cast a fireball in the first place?

Those looking for true sword & sorcery inspiration might want to do what old Kodarr does... listen to the original DMG: Kill 'Em All by Metallica. You got your phantom lord, the gods taking revenge by thunder and lightning, a fiery pit of demons, the existential crisis of player characters who suspect they might be (chaotic) evil, and lyrics like "lock up your wife and children now, it's time to wield the blade... so gather round you warriors now and saddle up your steeds, killing scores with demon swords!" Most important of all, absolving the DM of the wicked things he must do: no remorse is the one command.

Doesn't get any more raw, brutal, and metal than that (not counting the ridiculously over-produced nonsense that's come out the last couple decades). Wait, am I still talking about music or roleplaying games? ;)

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"Reviewers talk about pretty pictures, random tables, and practical advice on how to run a decent adventure. That's all well and good but what about that inner spark that makes you want to swing a greataxe or cast a fireball in the first place?"

::cheers Kodarr, despite the risk of a flying axe landing embedded in his for head::